Looking Back
by DolbyDigital
Summary: She had encouraged the girl; been with her every step of the way. She felt guilt, shame at her own actions - at how easily she had tossed aside her morals - but, if she were to relive that moment, or any that followed, would she change a thing?


**A/N -** I had no idea where I was going with this when I wrote it, so it probably reads a little strangely. One sided femmeslash if you squint.

* * *

She wandered through the empty halls of the castle, trailing the tips of her fingers along to rough stone walls, lost in thought.

She had practically been raised in these halls; they were much quieter then - not nearly as many students - but the feeling was the same. This was her home, and it always would be.

.oOo.

 _"Why do I need to go in the boats, Mama?" she asked, confusion lacing her tone._

 _"It's tradition, my dear," her mother replied in her soft tones._

 _"How? The school's not particularly old."_

 _"It is the_ beginning _of a tradition. Centuries to come, students arriving for their first year at our magnificent school will still cross the lake in boats."_

 _"No they won't. It's a ridiculous idea. People could drown," she spoke with a scowl directed at the expanse of the lake._

 _"We shall see," her mother laughed lightly, ushering her towards the boats where the other children waited._

 _Reluctantly, she had climbed into one of the last boats. She found herself seated between a boy with unruly dark curls who was perhaps a few years older than herself, and a girl wearing tattered clothing that obscured most of her figure. The boy seemed to be trying to sit as far away from the other girl as he possibly could in the small confines of the boat._

 _He spoke to her, in a deep voice - maybe a few years older than she had believed - but her attention was on the girl still, and so she missed his words. He was watching her expectantly, expression growing increasingly irritated with each passing moment of silence._

 _"Your name, my lady," he asked._

 _"Helena Ravenclaw," she answered distractedly, attention still on the silent girl._

 _"Ravenclaw?" he mused quietly. "Is he not one of the instructors here?"_

 _"My mother is one of the founders of this institution, yes."_

 _"Your mother?" he asked incredulously. Only then did she turn her attention to the man, observing with distaste the look of surprise on his face._

 _"Yes."_

 _He remained silent for the rest of the journey, occasionally throwing her looks of scepticism._

.oOo.

 _They entered the Great Hall single file, to be faced with the four founders of Hogwarts seated in raised chairs at the far end of the vast room._

 _"Welcome to Hogwarts," her uncle's voice jovial voice echoed through the Great Hall as they neared the adults. She turned her attention from his words; she needed no introduction to this place she already called home._

 _The girl beside her coughed slightly, fidgeting where she stood; they were the only two whose attention Godric had not captured by his mere presence._

 _They were asking potential students to step forwards, one at a time, now, to determine which House they would become a part of._

 _"Morgan le Fay," Salazar read from the list in a bored drawl. The girl beside her stepped forward, head held high. Dirt was caked under her fingernails and she clutched her shawl tightly around herself, her face partially hidden amidst the folds of fabric._

 _There was silence from the professors, each regarding the girl with rapt interest. She was unimpressive at first glance, but anyone with enough intelligence could see the power lurking beneath her skin, could feel the strength of the magic singing in her veins. Perhaps that was what had kept the boy on the boat so quiet, for she could hear him now, boasting to his peers._

 _The founders began whispering amongst themselves, the conversation so hushed that Helena was unable to make out many words, even with the amplifying effect of the hall._

 _The girl seemed not to care about the argument she was causing amongst the instructors, particularly Salazar and Helena's mother._

 _"…you got the boy!" She heard the tail end of her mother's hissed words before Helga placed herself between the two, smiling at the girl as if to reassure her - though it was clear she was unaffected by her impact on the adults - and spoke a few words to the professors on either side of her._

 _Rowena stood up, triumph clear in her eyes, and spread her arms wide._

 _"Welcome, Morgan le Fay, to Ravenclaw. I am sure you will be an asset to my House."_

.oOo.

 _'You caused quite the stir earlier," Helena spoke softly, not turning her head to face the girl who had just entered the room._

 _"That was not my intention," she said, running a brush through her damp hair._

 _"Who are you?" Helena asked, finally turning to look at the other girl. She looked older now, somehow, without the grime covering her, or perhaps just more dignified. Mature._

 _"You know my name." She set her brush down on the vanity with a sharp_ clack _._

 _"That is not what I asked." Helena tipped her head to the side, as though observing the other girl from a different angle would help her to expose her secrets._

 _"I am Morgan le Fay. Student of Hogwarts. Ravenclaw. That is who I am," she said, expression hard._

 _"Yes, but-"_

 _"Or do you wish to know more?" she interrupted. "My father is dead, and my mother has remarried. She had a child with her new husband - an incredibly_ ordinary _little boy who has been given the world." The bitterness in her tone was clear to detect._

 _"You do not like your brother?" She had always wanted a sibling._

 _"It is his father I dislike. The boy will grow to be just like him."_

 _"Oh," Helena paused, unsure of what to say. She watched the girl standing across the room from her. She had changed into a simple white nightgown, her hair loose and flowing freely around her shoulders down to the small of her back. She had the sort of beauty only power could bring, and ones knowledge of their own strength enhanced._

 _This girl had the potential for such greatness, good or bad._

 _"What are you going to do about it?"_

.oOo.

She had encouraged the girl; been with her every step of the way. She felt guilt, shame at her own actions - at how easily she had tossed aside her morals - but, if she were to relive that moment, or any that followed, would she change a thing?


End file.
